I adore the ‘men as sex objects’ thing.
One of the things I love most about treating men as sex objects is that it actually gives those who maybe are a little shy or even too ‘manly’ to admit that they love that attention a different way of looking at themselves, a different level of confidence. They walk around in the world a little more aware of themselves as desirable sexual ‘things’, which often attracts (both kinky and non-kinky) women to them.
I love that once a boy who has piqued my interest ‘gets’ that I see him that way, he works to attract that attention from me (wants to improve his body, thinks more about what he is wearing, presents himself to me as a sexual being… delicious!). My seeing him as eye candy, as a plaything, as something that makes me wet, that can make me come, that can give me pleasure makes him preen and posture a little, gives him confidence to tease me with his sexuality, to entice me with his goods. It is even better if he has never seen himself that way, for him to realise that he has that power, for him to want to exercise it for me. And it is not about his cock, not about him turning himself on, not about him getting off, it is about him objectifying himself to work me into a lust-frenzy, it is about him offering himself as an object of desire, encouraging me to look at him that way, to treat him that way, to take him that way.
I look at my boy greedily sometimes, he may be undressed, or partially undressed, pottering about when I start looking at him as a sex thing, when my mind starts skipping tracks and goes straight to ‘Guh’. He knows when I am doing it and I see him shyly change under that gaze. He rarely knows his power, really, but occasionally, he knows it fully and well, and he blossoms under that knowledge. He will give me a look that says ‘I *know* what you are thinking, here it is, come and get it…’, and he will pose a little and silently offer this thing that he is to me, however I want it.
I also have to admit to enjoying the objectification of men in mainstream media…
~Warning: This video has absolutely no redeeming qualities and is provided solely for nefarious purposes… it is a travesty to fair minded people everywhere. Meh… I’m totally okay with that…~
33 comments
My seeing him as eye candy, as a plaything, as something that makes me wet, that can make me come, that can give me pleasure makes him preen and posture a little, gives him confidence to tease me with his sexuality, to entice me with his goods.
I used to be one of those “manly” types who didn't think of myself as an object of desire. That was when I was younger, and stoopider.
Now I'm an inveterate attention whore, and I love it :-)
I think, however, that when I was younger, the women in my life were less self-confident. Now that I'm :coff: older :coff:, the women I tend to associate with are able to see men that way more easily.
That, and for the last couple of years I've been working out a lot, and my wife (and some of our friends) seem to be enjoying the new muscle definition.
Kudos for your being able to enjoy men visually, and to let them know.
I could have sworn I read this before…
I laughed out loud after reading this post. A few years ago, I was working at a customer's site and I noticed that I was being watched very intently by two women as I worked. After leering at me for about forty minutes or so as I went about my business, one of them approached me and suggested the possibility of a threesome.
I was very stoically married at the time and being the faithful husband, I politely declined by explaining that I prefer to disappoint my women one at a time. God! … How I wish I do that one over again!
Tom Allen: “I think, however, that when I was younger, the women in my life were less self-confident.”
You make a good point there, but my experience was slightly different. When I was young, I could not have done it because any interest in men immediately turned them into the aggressor. As soon as I showed them the slightest sexual attention or appreciation, testosterone-laden boys would be all over me and I would be pushing them away… too much, too eager, too too… I stifled my sexuality in a lot of ways because I had not yet learned to control them in *that* way.
A mature man will not leap over a bar to hit on a woman who is looking at him in that way, he might smile, acknowledge it, send an invitation, but maturity generally means I can look and get a dirty smirk of appreciation going on and do it blatantly so that it's sexy for both of us without being put in a position where he becomes the aggressor and I end up having to say 'You know, I was just looking, I'm really not interested'.
“…for the last couple of years I've been working out a lot…”
For the ladies (or men, I'm not heterocentric!), you can go and perve at Tom here, he won't mind, truly… phwoarr!
Ferns
Brids: “I could have sworn I read this before…”
That, my dear Brids, is because you pay attention to my every word… good boy!
Ferns
slapshot: “…I politely declined by explaining that I prefer to disappoint my women one at a time…”
*laugh* Best rejection line EVER!
Ferns
That's interesting. I was a bit on the shy side when I was younger, and rarely believed that women were coming on to me, or indeed, were interested enough to ogle very much.
That, and I'm of an age when growing up we learned that men who put too much effort into grooming – more than basic hygiene – were “vain” which was something to be avoided, as no women wanted a man who was less then manly (manly men apparently not being vain).
And despite the fact that Mrs. Edge seems to enjoy the view, and that some of our women friends are always commenting on my new physique, I find that when I step out of the shower after working out, I still feel embarrassed to flex my muscles in the mirror.
I mean, I do, of course, because I enjoy seeing whatever happens to be pumped up. But at the same time I feel stoopid about it, and stop it immediately. When I post a HNT, I always have to get over the feeling that I'm being vain in expecting anyone to enjoy looking at them.
What movie is this from? I’d like to see the whole thing.
vibrator: “What movie is this from? I’d like to see the whole thing.”
Avatar. You get to see it in 3D and everything!
Ferns
Ok, this is an older post by now, but just thought I'd share some thoughts about this topic. Me and my girlfriend also like the concept of men as sex objects. We do a lot of roleplay on that topic, where the bottom line is that I will make an effort to be attractive to her.
I can relate to what you wrote about offering myself as an object for her to desire, offering myself to the critical eyes of a female so she can assess every little part of my body. Usually I'm objectified in the same way you're objectifying your own partner through looking at him when partially or fully undressed, but also I'm also stripping for her, so she can just relax and enjoy while letting me taking care of her being excited.
Of course, being objectified has some requirements as to having good looks, some I'm working out nearly every day to keep fit and well toned, while always trying to improve, realizing that looking awesome is my responsibility so she can keep enjoying me.
Male objectification requires the guy to be able to be self confident despite comments about your body and to see those comments about constructive critisism for which you can use as a basis of improving and getting a leaner body.
Anonymous: “…just thought I'd share some thoughts about this topic.”
I'm glad you did! My older posts get lonely you know.
“…being objectified has some requirements as to having good looks…”
I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder to a large extent, but… but… it sure as hell doesn't hurt to be in peak condition!
“…some I'm working out nearly every day to keep fit and well toned, while always trying to improve, realizing that looking awesome is my responsibility so she can keep enjoying me.”
Oh yeah! I love that attitude! I talked about this in this post. It is a rather unpopular opinion, frankly, but it makes perfect sense to me. Good for you!
Ferns
Hi again, and thanks for you answer although it was a while ago :P
I'm Anonymous: “…just thought I'd share some thoughts about this topic.” by the way.
I read your post about guys looking smashing for his partner, and that's my thought exactly! I can't see why this is such an unpopular opinion, it's a logic consequence of being objectified. Being a sexual object is all about trying to meet the standards of the beholder, and if those are visual, then that's about getting as much an eye candy as possible.
Maybe people are afraid of it because it may involve not feeling good enough? I don't think that's a problem if it's all carried out respectfully. As I said it's about constructive critisism that drives the desire for improvement. Occasionally I do strip for my girlfriend where, where I'm basically “scrutinized”. She'd never make hurtful comments, but she can say things like “oh, I like those appearing abs, think they're gonna be ripped for the summer?” by which she means that she wants to see more of it. So it's a compliment with constructive critisism so I know how to improve myself.
Anonymous: “Being a sexual object is all about trying to meet the standards of the beholder, and if those are visual, then that's about getting as much an eye candy as possible.”
*nod nod* I agree. When men who have clearly not made the slightest effort to make themselves sexually attractive advertise themselves as 'sex slaves' it makes me go 'WTF?!' How do they honestly think it works?
They may be fine and wonderful partners and submissives and wonderful human beings, but if they are going to base their offer on their sexual desirability, they have to be able to deliver… well… sexual desirability! It's simple logic, as you say.
“I can't see why this is such an unpopular opinion, it's a logic consequence of being objectified.”
I think, frankly, that it's unpopular because political correctness dictates that only awful people care about sexual attractiveness enough to say it's a desirable thing. We are all supposed to not care because it's what's inside that counts, but that argument misses the point.
Dominant women have absolutely NO hesitation in telling submissive men to learn *skills* to make themselves more attractive, but telling them to make themselves teh sexy is somehow off limits…
I think there is probably an issue with dominant women not wanting the spotlight turned on them, to which I say, “Fuck it”. I'm not asking to be anyone's sex toy, so take me as I am or fuck off.
I also think there is the argument that 'BDSM is not about sex', so concentrating on the sexual desireability of the sub male kind of blows that theory out of the water.
“Maybe people are afraid of it because it may involve not feeling good enough?”
Your experiences within a relationship are a bit different (thank you for sharing!), and yes, then there is a way to do it that needs to very much take into account his ego and sensibilities, and also his capabilities.
I feel pretty comfortable telling a boy who is mine or who is seriously wanting to be mine to change his body for me, and I have never had a problem with them doing it enthusiastically and with their whole heart focussed on my pleasure… *that* is just swoonworthy…
I can rave about this topic all day (as you can see). It just seems so… obvious…
Ferns
“They may be fine and wonderful partners and submissives and wonderful human beings, but if they are going to base their offer on their sexual desirability, they have to be able to deliver… well… sexual desirability! It's simple logic, as you say.”
All I can say is that my thoughts are along yours for this topic. I agree, delivering on sexual desirability is also important no matter if it's politically not correct. Women usually have a broad selection of men and if having a choice between two men where one looks average and the other one looks like a male supermodel, I realize that she'd probably pick the eye candy. When looking for a new partner, it's important for us men to stand out from the crowd and having excellent looks is another way of doing just that!
“I feel pretty comfortable telling a boy who is mine or who is seriously wanting to be mine to change his body for me, and I have never had a problem with them doing it enthusiastically and with their whole heart focussed on my pleasure… *that* is just swoonworthy…”
My girlfriend is acting the same way. She doesn't make hurtful comments or anything, but as I mentioned she makes a compliment, then tell something like “works some more on those abs”. And then I'll do just that. After all, looking desirable is hard work in the gym and constant diets so I do think it shows dedication and discipline for your dominant woman!
But it's not enough to just look great if you're not going to make “use” of it. Knowing how to present yourself and an opportunity to do so to show her your improvements is also important. That's why we've decided that I do regular strip shows for her, usually every month or so, giving her an opportunity to “inspect” me and it's motivation for me to work even harder in the gym.
To make it more interesting she has even told me that I'm going to strip for her and some of her female friends during a summer trip. It's gonna be on a stage, so this time I'm taking some “stripping” classes and will also try to have some tan.
As you said in your original post:”I also have to admit to enjoying the objectification of men in mainstream media… “
I do think objectification of men has increased and that will set new standards for men as objectification has done for women. I also think it may put more pressure on men than it does for women in the long term run because it's much easier for a woman to get in touch with a guy than vice versa. Men simply has to offer more to get in touch with a woman, and standards set by women may also go higher as influence of what's considered the “perfect” man in terms of looks sets in.
Because there are a trillion more men than women in the global population. And men are gigantic in supply. Women are often less. Men typically don't have a broad selection of women to choose from.
Men sure don't like the idea of being sex objects because it make them think they're losers or some sort and if a woman is sexually aggressive, it's a punch to her face. But then women only want hot hunks for sex only.
Anonymous: “Because there are a trillion more men than women in the global population.”
I have no idea where you are getting these figures from, but the ratio is 101.4 according to the US Census Bureau on world population.
I truly don't understand the point you are making in the rest of your comment, so can't make any response to it.
Ferns
And men are gigantic in supply. Women are often less. Men typically don't have a broad selection of women to choose from.
Wow, where to start? Ferns covered the stats, but in any given population sample, there do tend to be *slightly* more available men. But the numbers are really negligible, as there are always opportunities to move to locations where the availability is more in your favor.
Men sure don't like the idea of being sex objects because it make them think they're losers or some sort and if a woman is sexually aggressive, it's a punch to her face. But then women only want hot hunks for sex only.
I know that you're writing in English, but for some reason we're not communicating. I think quite a few men would enjoy being the object of desire, simply *because* it is not typical.
And over the years, I've had women come on to me, some more strongly than others, and it certainly did not make me feel like a “loser.” Quite the opposite, in fact; since it's *not* the norm, it made me feel extra special to be singled out for such treatment.
As the the hot hunks or punch in the face, I really have no clue as to what you mean.
“I have no idea where you are getting these figures from, but the ratio is 101.4 according to the US Census Bureau on world population.
I truly don't understand the point you are making in the rest of your comment, so can't make any response to it.”
UN, duh. They're more accurate.
“Women usually have a broad selection of men and if having a choice between two men where one looks average and the other one looks like a male supermodel, I realize that she'd probably pick the eye candy. When looking for a new partner, it's important for us men to stand out from the crowd and having excellent looks is another way of doing just that!”
The ratio of men is typically 105-107 whereas women, it's 100 or less.
Anonymous: “UN, duh. They're more accurate.”
Ok, I see your 'duh' and raise you a 'wtf?!'. I said 101.4, the UN statistics show a ratio of 101.7, go look it up (http://esa.un.org/unpd/wpp/Excel-Data/population.htm). Unless you have a serious problem understanding statistics, neither of them are close to “a trillion more men than women in the global population”…
Ferns
I'd add that in more developed countries, the ratio is 94.6 males per 100 females, so you are on easy street, apparently…
Ferns
But does it really matter how many males there are per female? I can see the “market value” argument; that when there are fewer females, they can choose between men of higher standards, but I don't think it's relevant in a relationship where the guy is objectified anyway. The very purpose of objectification is submission to her standards regardless, and thus it wouldn't even matter if you were the only man on earth.
And while I can understand why some guys are unsecure when realising tougher male body standards set by women due to the increased focus on men in media, I'd also like to say it doesn't mean the world and everything. Yes, indeed many girls find your body type important, but it's just one factor among all others such as your personality, humour etc. No matter the starting point, the most important thing is wanting and working to improve yourself no matter how you look initially. So pick up your courage, start a good diet plan, join the gym and start putting in some effort as you were joining next months edition of playgirl!
Anonymous: “But does it really matter how many males there are per female?”
I assume the numbers argument goes “If there were 20 women going after 1 guy, he can be a slovenly lump and those women will just have to make do. So there. Nyah!” *laugh* As an argument in the real world, it fails. I'd rather be alone that have some guy I don't fancy.
“Yes, indeed many girls find your body type important, but it's just one factor among all others such as your personality, humour etc.”
Absolutely, yes! And I think this is where the 'shallow' argument also fails. It is not that a great body is the be all and end all, that's not the point. It is simply another tool in the arsenal, but while everyone is happy to say helpfully to submissives 'learn skills like cooking and cleaning' etc, this is one that no-one will touch with a barge pole for fear of the hordes being all shouty about what a bad person you are for even whispering the idea into the wind.
Want to be a sex slave? To be used by your Domme for the wild monkey sex? To saunter past all casual-like and have her growl and tell you to 'Come the fuck here, now!!' To be thrown down and face fucked within an inch of your life? To have her want you so badly that she wants to rip your very skin off? Then BRING IT!
Ferns
Want to be a sex slave? To be used by your Domme for the wild monkey sex? To saunter past all casual-like and have her growl and tell you to 'Come the fuck here, now!!' To be thrown down and face fucked within an inch of your life? To have her want you so badly that she wants to rip your very skin off? Then BRING IT!
Ferns you should write recruitment ads, I don't care what it is that you're selling; I'd sign up.
Peroxide: “…you should write recruitment ads, I don't care what it is that you're selling; I'd sign up.”
The airtight contract is on its way to you… it is about 600 pages long, but there is no need to read it, honest. Just sign and return…
Ferns
I was fortunate enough to work with a Venus in Scorpio/Moon in Venus Sagittarian who was slightly younger than me (bringing out the cougar in me). In fact, he once called me a cougar. I especially liked the day he wore a pinstriped blue shirt, slightly open in front revealing dark hair on that incredible chest…and a “clasp” on his arm with diamond chips that sparkled when he moved it. This was at a meeting and I sat right across from him.
His finding me attractive sweetened the pot.
Even his astrological profile described him as “physically impressive”, “animal magnetism”, “very stimulating to opposite sex”…and more.
This guy is hot!!! Hope he looks me up…
“This guy is hot!!! Hope he looks me up…”
I hope so too! Good luck with the hottie!
Ferns
You do realise that the brand in that video specifically targets the gay market? Not that there is anything wrong with that! Gay men sure know their BDSM, and how to do pretty, so I am not in the least surprised that this should appeal to a Domme as well. Though I be straight, I’d totally wear it to be your sex object, Ma’am! For your viewing pleasure, here is the video that gave this brand their big break, by (gay icon) Kylie Minogue…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Omrp4QR_Rpo
“…offering himself as an object of desire….” I suspect this would work better if the male is “m” and the woman an “F”, than if the male is an “M” and the woman an “F” or “f”. Actually, I suspect that even m/f would work better than M/f.
Because of the patriarchal assumption that a man should be a sexual aggressor.
I am probably over thinking this.
If the male is mature (rather than a testosterone-laden teen age), it shouldn’t be too difficult to accept the role of….simply being observed.