Sometimes, life is just life, a kiss is just a kiss and play is just play. And sometimes, angels sing.
When I talk about my relationships, I often pluck out those moments that ARE the angels singing, and I hold those instances up to the light and examine them. I sometimes talk about day to day stuff, but even then, I choose the moments that interest me, those that have some small revelation, so I think I am maybe guilty of adding to the ‘idealistic fantasy’ of D/s relationships, even if it is not the stereotypical one.
There is a thing that I seek, a quality that I want in the boys who I bring home to me, this quality makes me swoon and speak grandly of lofty peaks.
The boys I choose are frightening in their ability to be open, they *seek* vulnerability, and I will poke at it and coax it or force it out and they will give it to me, devoid of ego or defences, they scrape themselves raw and offer up their insides with a lack of self consciousness that defies logic. It is a very particular and amazing way of relating. I would say that most people are not capable of it. It is *more* than just sharing, it is a ripping open of their innermost core, it is a willingness to show it all, despite fear.
I could never do that, it’s just not part of my makeup. It is a rare and stunning quality that floors me every time, it is a level of courage I don’t have. I look at it in wonder and awe.
I choose those submissives who are capable, eager and willing to go there because part of *my* pleasure is in the incredible power and heat of seeing it. It makes me want to utter grandiose proclamations into the ether, to belt out opera, to believe in God, to reach up and touch the universe, to whisper about the baring of souls.
And sometimes, you know, we just go to the grocery store and buy bread, and maybe some milk.
21 comments
Nice post. What is the texture of the much more common daily 'power exchange'? Wheat or white bread? 1% or skim? Who's going back to the store to get the eggs? No angels singing, but hopefully full of kindness, contentment, and easy complementarity.
DC: “What is the texture of the much more common daily 'power exchange'?”
The texture is warm and soft, like velvet, we will hold hands, and sometimes skip, and there is kissing.
“Wheat or white bread? 1% or skim? Who's going back to the store to get the eggs?”
Multi grain, and PhysiCal (1.5%), and if we forget the eggs, of course he has to go back there. Free range, large.
“…complementarity.”
*laugh* Great word… kudos!
Ferns
Perhaps learning the lessons of vulnerability just comes in a more obscure, round about way for dominants. But the lucky ones know enough to value it so highly the way you do when you face your boys with amazement. Lovely post.
Stephanie: “Perhaps learning the lessons of vulnerability just comes in a more obscure, round about way for dominants. But the lucky ones know enough to value it so highly the way you do when you face your boys with amazement.”
I love how you have put this. I think maybe I value it so highly *because* I am not capable of it.
I have this idea that there is a profound difference between the kind of vulnerability *I* feel and the kind I see in my submissives. I am never going to pretend that I don't have vulnerabilities (another post perhaps!), but I see them as so far apart from that which I see in my submissives that I can't even put them on the same scale as if they just varying degrees of the same thing.
“Lovely post.”
Thank you!
Ferns
Ferns,
First off my apologies for missing your birthday. Hope it was grand. And Thank Yo for the gorgeous glimpse of You.
Now as to Your post, There should be that profound difference in the vulnerabilities as that is what makes the difference between the sub and the Domme. I am sure that these boys feel the same in regards to You. As it takes a very special Domme to bring a sub to that point where he feels so comfortable that he can offer it all without hesitation or fear.
“I will poke at it and coax it or force it out and they will give it to me, devoid of ego or defences, they scrape themselves raw and offer up their insides with a lack of self consciousness that defies logic.”
Ferns, you have a particular gift for writing about things that should scare the hell out of me in such a way that they become intensely appealing.
“I choose those submissives who are capable, eager and willing to go there”
We've all got walls (some of us more than others) that we put between ourselves and everybody else. How do you know that a sub is capable willing and eager to drop them?
And let's just say hypothetically that there was a young man, who really wanted to be able to become open and vulnerable, within a relationship where he felt (was sure he was) safe.
How could he display that willingness, without dropping his guard for every potential domme who came along?
Very interesting. In my life as a domme it is just the other way around. I am almost always offering my vulnerability and at the same time I tend to attract men that are usually having problems with sharing feelings and emotions.
“I think I am maybe guilty of adding to the 'idealistic fantasy' of D/s relationships, even if it is not the stereotypical one.”
I don't think this is a bad thing at all. It's a nice glimpse at the possibility of how one could mix the hot and steamy, with the dirty and sexy and a bit of wicked meanness thrown in. For me, reading this was what made the D/s possible for me.
Ok… maybe I just inflated the ego too much.. but seriously… It's far enough removed from that stereo typical bitchy Domme, that it gives the rest of us something to identify with.
Plus I really LOVE the hot, sexy stories! ;)
Now this just sounds like the beginnings of another adventure into the kiny shopping list….
But in all seriousness, I know what you mean. I like the idea of relating on that level of intimacy, and at the same time it terrifies me to be so open.
Ferns,
Quote: “The boys I choose are frightening in their ability to be open, they *seek* vulnerability, and I will poke at it and coax it or force it out and they will give it to me, devoid of ego or defenses, they scrape themselves raw and offer up their insides with a lack of self consciousness that defies logic.”
This utterly reveals what I seek in communication and how I communicate intimacy. In my own relationships, it's not actually a case of either side making a decision to reveal themselves this way. Rather, it is a core trait and one that is typically fundamental in bringing us together. I find it breathtaking and essential, regardless of which side I'm on (viewing/receiving or communicating/giving).
Quote: “The texture is warm and soft, like velvet, we will hold hands, and sometimes skip, and there is kissing.”
Dito. There will indeed be kissing. Lots of kissing.
E.
girls are better :P
Coug
Chimerical1: “First off my apologies for missing your birthday. Hope it was grand. And Thank Yo for the gorgeous glimpse of You.”
*smile* Apology, good wishes, and compliment all gratefully accepted.
“Now as to Your post, There should be that profound difference in the vulnerabilities as that is what makes the difference between the sub and the Domme.”
That had occurred to me, but I know from experience that many submissive men are *not* coming from that place, and either don't want to go there, or can't, or some other thing. It's rare. I would have to assume, by the same token, that many Dommes are also not like me and *are* completely capable, willing and desirous of that kind of vulnerability.
“I am sure that these boys feel the same in regards to You.”
I hope that they do.
“…it takes a very special Domme to bring a sub to that point where he feels so comfortable that he can offer it all without hesitation or fear.”
True, though no matter how special, they still have to 'click' with each other for it to work. And hesitation and fear are hot… just sayin'…
Ferns
Peroxide: “Ferns, you have a particular gift for writing about things that should scare the hell out of me in such a way that they become intensely appealing.”
*laugh* I LOVE that you linked to needle play with the 'things' link…
I loved your questions so much that I am going to have to mull them over and write a post in response. Thank you for them.
Ferns
lawyer: “Very interesting. In my life as a domme it is just the other way around. I am almost always offering my vulnerability and at the same time I tend to attract men that are usually having problems with sharing feelings and emotions.”
Ahh, thank you for that!! This goes back to my previous comment to Chimerical1. The boys I choose fit with the type of person I am. I am not convinced that it necessarily speaks to 'types'.
I assume that your vulnerability and his reserve work well for you? Or does it cause you issues?
Ferns
Maggie: “For me, reading this was what made the D/s possible for me.”
Thank you so much for this!!! That is lovely to hear! *happy sigh*
“Ok… maybe I just inflated the ego too much.. “
Yes, true. I will have to pop my head with a pin to get out of the house. I hate it when that happens…
“Plus I really LOVE the hot, sexy stories!”
*laugh* Well, I offer my sincere apologies for the complete lack of them lately. I am working on it!!
Ferns
The Rabbit: “I like the idea of relating on that level of intimacy, and at the same time it terrifies me to be so open.”
*nod nod* Both the liking and the terror make perfect sense to me. In a way, I think it *should* be terrifying.
Ferns
Elan: “…it's not actually a case of either side making a decision to reveal themselves this way. Rather, it is a core trait and one that is typically fundamental in bringing us together.”
Yes, I believe that's true. Even if it is only revealed rarely, it is part of one's makeup. It can't be faked, it can't be taught, it can't be trained… It is something innate.
“Dito. There will indeed be kissing. Lots of kissing.”
Well, duh!
Ferns
“I think I am maybe guilty of adding to the ‘idealistic fantasy’ of D/s relationships, even if it is not the stereotypical one.
From my perspective, I don’t think so. Taken as a whole, I find that your writings have tempered the “angelic moments” with many others that are humourus, informative, or even mundane, yet all are interesting and well worth the read.
If anything, I love those moments when the angels sing because they are a reminder that, whether I believe it or not, such things are possible, and when I get the urge to read something about just how wonderful relationships can be, I know where to look.
*smile* Thanks.
The truth is that this blog will never be more than a slice of life and of course I choose the moments that I share *because* there is something in it worth sharing.
I’m currently sitting on the couch in my apartment looking out to the park, kite surfing kites sporadically appearing above the trees in the park, washing is on, music is playing, I’m having a glass of champagne, writing blog comments.
If I had a partner, chances are I’d be doing exactly the same thing, and he’d be somewhere doing his thing.
Unless something happened worth talking about, there is nothing to tell in it. Blog-life is by its very nature, biased and incomplete *shrug… smile*.
Ferns
I don’t see you portraying a fantasy at all. Everyone picks apart the most influential parts of their relationships to talk about because that is what most people find interesting to read.For the record though even when you are just talking about going out to buy milk, I am interested.
Respectfully,
mysticlez
You hit the nail on the head there.
*laugh* Also your comment reminds me of the time I posted my Shopping list!
Perverts!
Ferns