Happy femdom stories – Dishevelled Domina

This story from the wonderful Dishevelled Domina who not only has a great blog (go check it out for (among other things) a recent series of interviews with submissive men), but also works tirelessly (and with greatly appreciated dedication) on her tumblr which yields much worthwhile porn art porn.

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Author: Dishevelled Domina

My honey and I met when we were 21 and 18 respectively. We were very young, in a matter of weeks fell madly in love, and got married within 9 months.

Not a thought of anything officially femdommy entered my head til I read The Joy Of Sex (which I received as a bridal gift).
I read all about bondage, etc. and I really liked the idea.
On our honeymoon I had the opportunity to try it out and we both enjoyed ourselves a great deal (understatement).

We explored from there, via info in books and online. We discussed new ideas and tried out anything that appealed to either of us. We did experiment with him taking charge, but I didn’t really enjoy it much, and he was so bothered by it not being supersexyhotfun for me that he didn’t enjoy it either. So he untied me, handed me the nipples clamps and we both breathed a sigh of contentment, a much better fit for us both.

Despite the fact that the inherent slant of our sex life has been very femdom I wouldn’t have classified it as that until the last 6 years or so.

Then I encountered a checklist. It went rather like this;

• Who decided what positions will be used and for how long?
• Who decided when it’s time for sex?

Furthermore, I realized that he was very well aware that any attempt to grab my head during a blow job was completely out of the question but my guidance during cunnilingus is sometimes far from gentle, and he likes that.

Unless I opt out, which is very, very rare, sex isn’t over til I’ve had an orgasm or twelve. He doesn’t always get one, and that is my decision.

The list goes on, so I decided it was time to reclassify. We were not people who occasionally enjoyed BDSM games as a spice. I am a sexually dominant woman, and I am married to a man who very much enjoys that. Nothing in the basic layout of our dynamic changed at that point, but having some names for that did make it possible for us to have some new conversations.

The inevitable ebb and flow of life and marriage (working on year 21 now) means we have experiences a ton of good times and bad times in every possible arena of life but sex is a bright spot and our compatibility, the fun and joy we have, and the passion we share… I am willing to venture that it is a major reason our marriage has lasted so long, especially in light of how young we were when we got started.

It works because it fits for us. It’s like a favorite pair of jeans, but they fit no matter what your waistline is doing, and they just keep getting better.

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This post is part of a project to share happy, positive femdom relationship stories.  If you have a story and are willing to share it, please email it to me (ferns at domme-chronicles dot com).