Happy femdom stories – Aaron

We haven’t had a happy femdom story for a while, so I was really excited when this one arrived in my inbox.

Youthful exploration and happiness, plus some really wonderful feedback for me on how my blog helped a little (I can’t tell you how delighted I am about that!). I don’t know that it can get any sweeter than this…

Author: Aaron

I wanted to say thank you for putting yourself out there. I suppose I should have sent this to you when you were asking for happy femdom stories but I didn’t. So I’m doing it now partly because of the extra pressure the blog must have put on you recently. I’m thanking you for writing about what you do and being positive about it, because it’s meant a lot to me.

I suppose I started reading your blog when I was 18… oh gawd that was a long time ago. I bet I discovered it by googling “femdom blog” because that’s how high school me rolled. At that time I didn’t really understand my feelings and I felt a lot of shame. I found myself attracted to things that made me feel very confused, especially after my lust had worn off. Of course this kind of thing in porn ranges from painfully awkward to squicky- for the most part. I bashed myself for having these thoughts and I interpreted as some sexualized manifestation of self-hatred. I told myself I’d stop looking for it, stop fantasying about it, and stop reading your blog after some scary bits about pee buckets.

But I came back to it, again and again. I came back to your blog again as well, reading it off and on. I still disregarded my feelings toward d/s as a phase or something like it. It wasn’t until this past summer when I met my girlfriend that I started to accept my sexuality. Katherine was wonderful, confident, empathetic, and sex-positive and it all made talking with her so easy. We met and she asked me if I’d like to talk with her some more later and before I knew it we were dating and I was telling her everything. And then one night I let my guard down and linked her to your blog.

I expected her to be appalled or something. I guess I didn’t know her very well then. She smiled and we talked about it and it felt so right. As we talked together it became clear that it was something that she was looking for too, just that it would be a while before she did anything like that with me. So we continued dating, hanging out, sharing with each other, and every so often talking about d/s. Time passed and I became impatient because despite our conversations our sex life was very vanilla. I asked her if she only talked about d/s with me because I had an interest in it. She was hurt by that. Katherine told me that she had been reading about domming and she felt an immense amount of pressure to get it right, to take care of me properly, to not lose control. We talked for hours that night about what we wanted from our relationship and we ended in a pretty good place.

The next night we played for the first time. It was cute and we both ended up laughing but we kept on going and having fun. As we went on we started to get more intense and maybe it started to go too fast. I ended up having a relapse of guilt over d/s and I worried about it constantly. I thought it made me less of a man, less of an independent person. Thank god Katie has some sense in her and supported me through it. She was so wonderful and after many long conversations I was starting to come over. I guess I had this idea that what we were doing was just part of my phase that I could walk away from, and I was scared that this was who I was. But thanks to her I started to feel comfortable about being a submissive male. I knew what I wanted and I wanted to be hers.

We started off slow again and it was amazing. Of course we have had rough patches. Two novices learning d/s from each other are going to run into some problems. I learned a lot in the months that followed about what I needed to do in order to make d/s work: I need to trust that Katherine knows what’s best for both us sexually. She absolutely decides when play happens. Her desires absolutely come first. Saying ‘no’ is not something that can be done casually in d/s and has ramifications to the dynamic.

We both are still learning how to be good partners, but it’s so exciting to explore it together. And here I am now, writing to you with the dirty words still visible on my chest, written in sharpie two nights ago. I love her to pieces and I’m so happy I’m hers. And to I have to thank you, Ferns, for being a positive resource out there for me to find and share.

So thank you for writing about sex and relationships and d/s and all that stuff. Thank you for being a kinky role model to us. And we still read your blog too, especially when Katie has me read to her until she falls asleep. She’s super cute when she’s dommy and sleepy.

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This post is part of a project to share happy, positive femdom relationship stories.  If you have a story and are willing to share it, please email it to me (ferns at domme-chronicles dot com).