Sometimes submissives ask how they can help their dominant (especially their *new* dominant) become more comfortable in her dominance.
Come here, and I will let you in on a secret…
Ssshhhh…
Ready?
Here it is:
Seriously. Do that.
I know it sounds as if I am being cute or something, but I’m not.
Do you want to know what I probably needed most from my submissive when I was finding my feet?
Submission is not passive.
I remember a submissive saying to me once “It’s easy for me, I just have to turn up and do what I’m told…”
Yeah, good luck with that.
Submission is NOT about being passive. If someone chooses ‘submissive’ as a role because they think it absolves them of the responsibility to be an active and enthusiastically functioning participant in a relationship, they are going to be sadly disappointed.
I see a … Continue Reading
I talked in my Masocast interview with the lovely UnspeakableAxe about compromising away happiness, and I’ve had a few private conversations about it since then, so I thought it was worth expanding on.
A lot of people seem to start relationships with “Oh, that’s okay, it’s not that important to me” and end up with “What the holy fuck happened here?”
There is always compromise in relationships, but there is a world of difference between … Continue Reading
When I met my boy, he was scared, as many newbies are scared.
Scared that he wouldn’t know what to do ‘as a submissive’.
Scared that this D/s thing wouldn’t be what he expected.
Scared that the reality wouldn’t live up to what was in his head, in his imagination.
Scared that he wasn’t really submissive, that he was ‘faking it’ somehow, fooling himself.
Scared that he wasn’t really a masochist, that his fantasies … Continue Reading
Ten days ago, my sweet friend Peroxide placed a personal ad in location-specific groups for a female dominant. He is looking purely for casual play.
… Continue ReadingCharming young sub, seeking casual play partner
Hi, I’m Peroxide, I write Submissive in Seattle and I’m looking for a nice lady to be my casual play partner.
I don’t do sex or D/s outside of a LTR, so this would just be a Top/bottom thing.
I’m not terribly experienced,
With all the talk of profiles that is always going on, and my ‘No, bad profile, bad!!’ thing, I have permission from the lovely man who prompted this post to show you ‘before’ and ‘after’.
He turned up on my ‘who’s viewing me’ list on CollarMe, so I went and took a look at his profile. It looked like this:
BEFORE:
This boy needs to learn who comes first.
Although he’s a successful and professional … Continue Reading
I was a huge huge fan of Bitchy Jones’s Diary. Her blog is still on my blog roll even though she stopped writing there (and removed a lot of her content) in February 2010 *sad face*. But I just discovered that I saved a couple of my favourite posts… wheeee!!!
I am really not so big on begging because it has to be sincere and believable to work for me, and most men … Continue Reading