I haven’t written about this: I might still, at some stage. But sometimes the whys and wherefores of difficult things are better left to sit quietly unspoken until there is no power left in them.
Suffice it to say that I took a hit and feel like I am now gathering up my various resources, hoarding them until they are back at full strength.
I took a tentative step out and reactivated my vanilla … Continue Reading
I’ve been getting cute little congratulations about this very misleading post.
It’s super sweet and I do appreciate that people are happy about my apparent coupledom.
BUT…
In case you missed it, Drew is gay. Like Double Gold Star gay, as gay as the day is long (and I mean days-at-the-North-Pole-in-the-middle-of-summer kind of long). Still, I’m putting together a registry for cute couples gifts. Because yes :P.
All that to say: Come at … Continue Reading
This boy is going to break my heart.
I thought it was the other way around.
I think maybe I was wrong.
He is young and reckless. A gambolling curious and sensitive kitten. Also a clumsy puppy who wiggles and wags and runs headlong into the furniture. Despite his outward playfulness, inside he is wounded and fearful, but he can be coaxed out of hiding to roll over and present his soft underbelly over and again. Smart, articulate, and frighteningly perceptive, he bounced into my corner of the internet some three months ago with his devastating vulnerability … Continue Reading
I’m angry, I’m hurt, I’m sad, and none of this is a surprise. Which is some comfort. Because I knew. And knowing means my instincts are good, solid, reliable. Knowing cushions the fall, makes the landing softer.
“I don’t trust him,” I said, right there in black and white.
I was right.
But I still kept a little piece of hope alive, because dammit, there was something there that I haven’t felt in a … Continue Reading
It is impossibly seductive to feel seen and be wanted.
I don’t mean in a nice calm and measured way, over coffee, perhaps a pastry with a light sprinkle of icing sugar on top, civilised conversation, a polite nodding.
I mean in that scary-intense way that crashes over you in waves. That way that feels ridiculous and frightening and tempts you to drown in it.
It’s right on the border of ‘WTF?!’ Perhaps even a … Continue Reading
He was standing at the sink, washing up.
I swear I didn’t touch a dish the entire time he was here. Lovely.
I watched him for a moment or two. He was wearing longish shorts and a t-shirt, his body moving slightly as he scrubbed.
I stepped in behind him, pressing gently against his back. My face resting against his shoulder blade. His height always a kind of quiet thrill for me.
I slipped a … Continue Reading
