Despite my best efforts, I have not yet lined up any more dates other than my last.
And by ‘best efforts’, I mean ‘I invited men who I thought were even marginally interesting to go out with me’. That number is not high, but it’s more than zero and is a huge departure from my normal process where I won’t meet anyone until I genuinely and absolutely think there is real potential. Dating immersion, … Continue Reading
Trying to date takes up all of my writerly energy (not even dating, just trying to date).
I’m not sure why that is really.
It’s not like I’m spending hours a day thinking up witty replies to stellar messages. Most of the emails that land in my inbox are about the same level of lame one liner as I’ve already mentioned in this post. I’m not even bothering to reply to those.
I did … Continue Reading
His introductory email was thoughtful and articulate. He’d not only read my profile, but he had also looked through my many Q&A responses and his note referenced both.
He was 6’2, a little younger than me, no photos.
I suggested we meet after a few exchanges. This must be a new record for me. My new strategy: ‘Dating immersion’. I didn’t ask for a photo. To be honest, I forgot.
He was nervous he said … Continue Reading
If nothing else, putting a profile up on a vanilla dating site allows me the luxury of realising that online dating is online dating and the ratio of ‘oh FFS’ to ‘well, hello!’ in my inbox is probably going to be much the same as kink sites at about 1000 to 1.
I’ve not put anything about D/s in my profile, though there is a hint there for someone who might pick it up, but … Continue Reading
There are a number of vanilla blogs* I read, written by women of 40+ who are single and dating. Sex bloggers. Good ones. And by that I mean that they write well, are smart, funny, open, honest and raw.
There is a hugely stark contrast between all of them and me in that they are all prolific daters, are on multiple dating sites, are very sex-focussed, are delighted to have casual sex/open to late night … Continue Reading
It gets stated a lot and it’s perfectly true: dominants should not expect random submissives to submit to them right out of the gate simply because they’ve slapped a label on themselves. When a dominant oversteps, a common form of pushback sounds like “I may be submissive, but I’m not YOUR submissive”, and fair enough.
When I am corresponding with a submissive man, I don’t expect him to submit to me.
But…
I’m a strong … Continue Reading
Staying safe is a product of any number of things, and obviously this applies especially in the world of BDSM-related dating where it can be even easier for dangerous people to hide behind a veil of D/s type activities.
I’ve written before that newbies should do as I say, not as I do because what I SAY about safety actually makes a lot more objective sense than what I DO.
The reasons for that … Continue Reading