Staying safe is a product of any number of things, and obviously this applies especially in the world of BDSM-related dating where it can be even easier for dangerous people to hide behind a veil of D/s type activities.
I’ve written before that newbies should do as I say, not as I do because what I SAY about safety actually makes a lot more objective sense than what I DO.
The reasons for that … Continue Reading
One of the reasons I balk at saying ‘I love you’ is because when it’s not true any more, it’s as if I lied. There is some sappy ‘love is forever’ behind that thought. Even though I’m not sappy.
I’m reading the writings of a woman who was in love with a man who said he loved her. Then he broke up with her. The details are complicated and not relevant to my thoughts: what … Continue Reading
I have organised a second date, a kissing date with the lovely boy I recently met.
I tweeted this yesterday while I was thinking about it:
Head full of kissing date possibilities. Anticipation might be one of my favourite things
— Ferns (@Ferns__) November 16, 2015
Text: “Head full of kissing date possibilities. Anticipation might be one of my favourite things”
I got a great question about it via my Ask Me page:
How … Continue Reading
If a submissive contacts me with a friendly email and it’s clear (or becomes clear) that they are partnered, I don’t go and ask their dominant if it’s okay that we interact (not flirting, not arranging a hookup, just having friendly conversation). I assume that we are all adults and they can make their own decisions. It’s not my job to police other people’s relationships.
So if I’m corresponding with a submissive and I get … Continue Reading
When I first told him to call me ‘Ma’am’, he wasn’t happy about it. It made him uncomfortable. He LIKED using my name. He half heartedly protested.
“But ‘Sharyn’ has come to mean ‘Ma’am’ to me…” he said. “That’s what it MEANS.”
I didn’t change my mind though, and he dutifully started using it. Awkwardly at first. Warming up to it as time went on.
It became second nature after a while. I’m not sure … Continue Reading
Compersion (n): A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship. Referred to mostly in poly or open relationships.
I don’t feel it. Ever.
I am not a kind or giving person that way.
I am selfish and greedy.
Possessive.
What’s mine is mine and you can’t have any of it. Not just physically, but emotionally. That shy smile he does just before I kiss … Continue Reading
Sometimes I feel like all of my history needs to be erased. It feels too heavy to carry around, even though there is nothing hefty in it. No bags of leaden hate or fury. No suitcases full of regret or sadness. None of that.
And yet it still feels like I carry too much with me, colouring the world with it in a way that makes me feel like I’m trudging through a swamp of … Continue Reading