There comes a pivotal point in getting to know someone where I decide to say something serious, to unpeel a layer, to reveal something of myself.
It usually comes some time past where we have shared silly, flirty emails and the normal ‘getting to know you’ stuff, it comes at a point where I feel safe enough to let them have a little peek inside.
I know it sounds a little strange for someone who … Continue Reading
“Did you know that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever touched?”
I see so much beauty in the submissive men I get close to, in the men with whom I share a connection, the ones who give me what I want in a way that resonates. I am always floored by it, it is poetical and vast in its immensity. Like some grand revelation. I … Continue Reading
Do I want you to get attached to me?
Oh yes.
No-one ever asks this though.
“You missed me didn’t you?” I ask.
It’s a rhetorical question. I know the answer. I want to hear you say it anyway.
I like to be missed.
I like to be wanted.
I like to be so far inside that it’s unbearable.
I like desperation and fear of loss and emotions out of control.
I like all of … Continue Reading
I don’t normally post what comes into my inbox, but this stunningly lovely email arrived in my email yesterday and it made me so very happy I wanted to share it.
If I ever wonder why I write, this is more than enough to remind me.
(posted with permission)
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Subject: A long overdue thank you
Hey Ferns,
I’ve been meaning to send this message for a long time and finally got around to it … Continue Reading
About twelve months ago, I said this:
… my orgasms are being weird with me. By [that], I mean that I am able to come, but it feels like an anti-climax. It’s more like my body goes into spasm and is done rather than all those wonderful waves of pleasure and goodness.
I can’t remember now how long that lasted: my body came back from that oddness without me really doing anything. I’m in … Continue Reading
I have been wanting to send my ex boy a copy of my book. After all, it is mostly about him, he was key in encouraging me to put my writing out into the world: It exists in no small part because of and for him.
It is a selfish thing, though, this desire. It is probably kinder of me to leave him alone. But I am often not kind. My wanting to share … Continue Reading
He had a work function one evening.
Academia: he and his fellows were meant to be grabbing new creative talent and sizing them up for their faculty. He had shyly asked me if I wanted to go. I didn’t, of course. He knew that well enough, but he asked me anyway.
“Of course!” I said.
He beamed at me. It wasn’t just that I would provide moral support: I knew that he wanted to show … Continue Reading