I don’t have a fear of flying. I have a fear of failure.
My fear of failure is so great that I couldn’t bear to put the word ‘failure’ in the title. Telling, no?
I genuinely believe that this fear impacts a lot of aspects of my life. Both in my past and in the present.
I am envious of those who have that fear, but try to fly anyway. Madly flapping their arms and … Continue Reading
I have had a very uncharacteristic surge of social energy in the last month or so.
So much so that I invited kinky strangers to my house (what?!) prior to going to a BDSM party next month (double what?!!).
Both of those things are so much out of character that it seems somewhat bizarre, even to me.
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH FERNS?!
One of the catalysts for this sudden outreach is that my best … Continue Reading
It’s blogging tradition to do some kind of roundup at the end of the year. A summary of the year, some kind of ‘thing’, all thoughtful and reflective.
It’s better, of course, if it’s meaningful and poignant. Also better when drinking champagne. But when the year hasn’t been either of those things, and I’m not actually drinking champagne, it gets a little tricky.
I released two books in the last quarter of this year.
I had a full-on self-care day on Friday since I’ve still been feeling rather flat.
My hair was freshened and super-swished at my regular salon, my lashes darkened for more effective fluttering, then I had an hour-long luxury foot treatment with hot stones, foot massage, and pedicure and polish with my favourite go-to blood-red colour, I ate delicious sweet things from a quality bakery.
I turned up an hour early for the spa treatment because … Continue Reading
I’d much rather feel angry than sad.
But now it seems like I’ve expended all this anger on my book, and I’ve used up all the spiky energy it gave me. Doing the work required to get it published in the next few days feels like wading through treacle in a fog.
What’s left in the aftermath of all that rage is a profound sadness that I’m struggling to shake.
The sadness feels more … Continue Reading
Summer isn’t here yet, but it’s coming with a vengeance. Around 35C (95F) these last couple of days, a lazy heat-haze hanging thick over the water. It shouldn’t officially be hot for another month, but here we are.
I’m back to light sarongs, wide-open windows to try and catch cool-ish breezes, blessed iced coffee in the mornings.
As for #dommelife, hmmm…
I’ve been doing some more study this year: Finished a 2 year web technology … Continue Reading
I was talking with a friend about representation of BDSMers and F/m in particular, and how important it is to see normal healthy F/m relationships, to see versions of ourselves, ‘people like us’, and how rare it really is.
In the F/m world, the only people who actively court publicity, who do marketing, who are quoted in the media, who show their faces openly, who make noise, are pro-Dommes and findoms. And marketing is inevitably … Continue Reading
