On socialising and being an introvert

The last BDSM event I went to was with e, there were maybe 200 people there.

He is quite involved in his local community and knows pretty much everyone. Obviously, I didn’t know anyone.

We hung around together, whispering and laughing, having some drinks, talking to people, and at some point we drifted apart.

I spent some time speaking to a rigger about a book project he was working on while he explained in gleeful … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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A ‘thing’

I already mentioned that I met another submissive when I was visiting e. We have kept in close touch, and have developed this very intense ‘thing’ (I am not quite sure what to call it exactly).

When we met, I was still emotionally wrapped up with e as we petted each other a little and built our friendship in the aftermath of it not working out. My emotions don’t just switch off when they were … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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“beautiful woman with a strap on harness…”

While I was away, I met up with another lovely submissive who lives in the same city as e. We had been emailing for a few months after I sent him a compliment on his thoughtful and original posts on Fetlife. The fact that he happened to live in the city I was travelling to was a convenient coincidence.

I had planned to meet him regardless of how it went with e because we got … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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‘Yay’ moments

I had my little ‘waaahh’ moments over my trip to meet e, so it’s time I wrote a little about the ‘yay’ moments: enjoyable things that e and I got up to during my visit.

Firstly, I cannot say enough times how amazing e was in looking after me while I was there. I would not expect any boy who I thought had potential to go “Well, no chemistry… have fun in my city won’t … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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Back to normality

I am doing fine. Thank you all for the kind thoughts and the support. I appreciate it very much.

It is disappointing, but I was pretty careful not to get too emotionally invested in it before meeting, so while it is sad, it is not really a heart-bruise, if you know what I mean. It’s more that I was so hopeful and the hopes are now dashed than dealing with the pain of “I truly … Continue Reading

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Plane-thoughts

I wrote this on the plane, feeling an exhausted self pity and loneliness.

Please don’t read too much into it. It is the ultimate in self indulgent crap, really, and like all of these things, it is a moment’s snippet and while it lingers a little, it is already over and I am not wailing or tearing my hair out. It will dissipate soon enough when I have had some sleep and recalibrated a little. … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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On drinking…

I don’t generally drink much: I am kind of a lightweight with the drinking.

However, I am cleaning up this place that I have been staying in for about 12 days, and there are five empty wine bottles in the corner. In addition to this domestic drinkery, most nights I have gone to e’s place where we have a few drinks, then we go out, maybe to dinner, maybe to a bar, and… yes, you … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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