Sometimes I feel like my entire life is a performance for some unknown audience outside of myself.
I had a good cry this morning. Like you do when shit happens.
I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and wondered who it was for.
If I write about it here, was it for you, dear readers?
Some angsty vulnerable moment that I subconsciously know I will share later? Some act that I am performing for … Continue Reading
We are all scared, I said.
I know but I’m really scared.
Of what?
Everything. I’m scared of everything.
Well cut that shit out. A short laugh. Not unkind.
I can’t.
You can. Pick them out one at a time, those fears. A small one first. Take out your sword and your shield and brandish them like a warrior in full flight. Run at it hard. Like your life depends on it. When you get … Continue Reading
I’m tired of expecting people to do the right thing.
Even more, I’m tired of feeling like I can’t expect them to do the right thing.
It’s utterly exhausting and depressing to expect the worst of people.
I don’t want to. Truly I don’t. And I try really hard to keep it at bay, to hang onto that smiling wide-eyed optimism that I used to have in droves.
I think it makes me an uglier … Continue Reading
I believe that prolonged exposure to a lot of things can normalise them. Over time, we internalise them as ‘the new normal’, and we just get on with it. The ramifications of this idea are huge in general, but I’m only thinking about it on a tiny scale based on how I’ve been feeling recently.
(And the reason I’m thinking about this is entirely not kink related: Kink?! On a kink blog? DON’T BE RIDICULOUS!)… Continue Reading
Hauling myself out of a slump is tricky. If I try too hard, I rail against myself like I somehow want to see me fail. It’s ridiculous, and yet it’s true.
I mentioned that I signed up to this 10 week challenge at my gym which is meant to be all full-on, and it can be, but given I’m a bit broken I’m taking it relatively easy.
What it’s about for me is having an … Continue Reading
I’m in kind of a slump. I’ve been here before, it will pass, but talking about it is better than not talking about it I guess.
Being slumpy makes me not want to do things that I know will help me lift out of the slump because my brain goes ‘But I don’t waaaaaannnt to’ like a three year old. So it’s a self perpetuating slump. A never ending circle of slumpiness. Slumposity (they are … Continue Reading
I don’t know anything about rigid cock rings except that they look sexy and they scare me silly.
I somehow can’t get past this horrible visual of someone being unable to get it off an engorged cock and having a terrible paniced trip to the emergency room (DON’T SEARCH FOR THAT, I WARNED YOU!).
I know it’s silly really, and someone tweeted a most excellent article which linked to a useful little video that made … Continue Reading
