There is a contingent on Twitter whose sole purpose seems to be to create 140 characters of sickly love-related tweetery that is so corny and cringeworthy that I can feel my internal organs die a little each time one crosses my timeline.
As sweetness between two individuals, I think a recipient might well adore it. But broadcast as ‘declarations of deep love’, they make me want to smack someone in the face.
“Like what?” … Continue Reading
Random, no context.
The asked-for-cock-shot is the holy grail of cock shots, the zenith, the pinnacle, rare & precious
The cycle of fapping is a wondrous thing… and so it goes…
What you actually have to do involves unicorn sweat, fairy dust, rat poison & a hairless goat
We’re not at a union negotiating table here…
I am a cock shot repellent. If only I could bottle it!
… Continue Reading…my wanking is an absolute single minded
More randomness that made perfect sense at the time…
I am a sensitive flower you know! A SENSITIVE FLOWER WITH GUNS, FUCKER!
I feel like the proper answer to every thread is ‘If you are an idiot, stop posting, idiot’
A celebratory ‘fuck off!’ drink!
I want to create a profile called MistressDerp and then post derpy face pics and say derpy things. That would be fucking funny, right?
… Continue ReadingJust as well you aren’t a
Random things, no context.
I’m piloting that potpourri right into a herd of puppies!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!
And no, really, a cock is a boy-handle, if you want to get technical
Vs dressed up as if your partner is a box of stupid and everyone wants to own the box of stupid
Because the internet is all your fault? THAT’S RIGHT!!!
… Continue ReadingIt will be done in your blood, natch, which must be blessed by
Random shit I spewed out at people.
No zing zing with the pussy pussies!
I will practice a gloat-covered sheepish victory dance
If someone says ‘you are too nice’, they are trying to avoid saying ‘you are boring and have no genitals’.
… Continue ReadingI am liking leaf number three, leaf number three is obviously superior to leaves number one or two, though they tried their hardest and deserve a little pat for their sub standard efforts.
Random stuff, no context…
Suddenly, I will be cunty mcfuckface and you will be all ‘woah! WTF?’ and I’ll be all “Yeah IN YER FACE!!”
DICK! Also, he’s probably RACIST.
… Continue ReadingI have dubbed the annoying pain in my side ‘Harold’. Harold is short and pudgy and sweaty and very annoying. I have given him a name so I can say things like “Fucking Harold wouldn’t leave me alone today!” or “*sigh* Can’t run, I will
Random out of context stuff that I have said recently.
It’s its own special ‘thing’, like a ‘thing’ you read about when you read about ‘things’ that aren’t like other ‘things’…
Un-coffeed, I am kind of mean
You totally win injury finger porn wars!!!
I think Hitty McHitty-on-er-ton was over in the other corner with the fit brunette in the tiny shorts…
… Continue ReadingI think you absolutely *must* say something about your ‘journey’, whine about scammers,