Reader Q&A: How has your view of BDSM changed?

Hello Gorgeous! Of course I have to keep you on your toes so I am going to give you a thought provoking question again.

Reflecting back on when you first discovered the lifestyle and where you are at today would you say your view of the lifestyle has changed and how? Also, what do you think is the most difficult or influential lesson you have had to learn in the lifestyle?

Okay so it’s two … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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Body project – pro shots

Bicep August 2013 tiny
I did a photo shoot last week and the set included a bunch of muscle-shots, which are a *vast* improvement on my usual rubbish-light-and-angle selfies.

Though when I say ‘muscle-shots’, I am being somewhat generous and might better describe them as ‘trying-to-show-off-muscle shots’.

 

Bicep August 2013 tinyEven though I’m not big, I DO see some fabulous muscle definition when I’m avatar-sized (see right with the distinct bicep, deltoid, lat, whatever-they-are muscles being visible there), and then I … Continue Reading

Loves: 28
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Mutual discovery should be fun

Discovering things about people whose partner-potential you are sussing out should be fun.

If it’s not fun, interesting, challenging, fascinating, exciting, why do it?

Simple, right? And obvious!

Still, I think there are lots of reasons people keep banging away at it *even if it’s no fun*.

I’ve been guilty of that myself at times. Sometimes in my interactions with submissive men where we are feeling each other out, I will convince myself to … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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Reader Q&A: Fears of a young Domme

Dear Ferns,

I’m an 18-year-old girl who has (since I was sixteen) been interested in BDSM. I’m about to head off for college and I’m rather scared. I live in Texas, and I’m a science major beginning her first year of college. I know that it sounds like that shouldn’t matter, but in Science if you’re anything but the perfect little nerd people assume things about how you got to where you are in the … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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On getting older

I recently had a birthday (how did you miss it?! I was bleating on endlessly about it…).

I’m 48 now, and saying that out loud gives me a bit of a shock. I’m not sure what 48 is supposed to feel like, but like a lot of people as they get older, I don’t *feel* as old as my years so when I say it out loud, I’m mentally going “WTF?!!”.

I felt 32 for … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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Reader Q&A: Toy supplier recommendations

My wife and I are rather new to the mistress/submissive world. We have greatly enjoyed it, so far, and it has been very therapeutic as well (she was raped, and I was molested for years, so it is empowering for her in a good way, and I find it liberating to willingly give up control).

We are having some trouble finding good retailers of a few products, and were wondering if you could give some … Continue Reading

Loves: 1
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Reader Q&A: Languages & vanilla relationships

I’ve been answering questions on my Ask Me page for AGES now, and that page is getting hellishly long. For real. Go look. I’ve been busy, yo!

I’ve not been creating individual posts out of them because I generally bang them out quickly with little real introspection (or editing!), so I had this idea that they weren’t somehow *worth* their own post. But some of the questions are really thoughtful, or quite common, and I … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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