Submission is not passive.
I remember a submissive saying to me once “It’s easy for me, I just have to turn up and do what I’m told…”
Yeah, good luck with that.
Submission is NOT about being passive. If someone chooses ‘submissive’ as a role because they think it absolves them of the responsibility to be an active and enthusiastically functioning participant in a relationship, they are going to be sadly disappointed.
I see a … Continue Reading
I don’t say “I love you” much. I am stingy with it, miserly. I hoard it to myself as if it might get used and old and dirty if I put it on the table.
I feel deeply and hard, but “I love you” is like taking out a huge knife and carving the words into skin, pain and blood spurting everywhere, cries of elation or hurt, his or mine, both sometimes.
The feeling comes … Continue Reading
In my last post, in amongst the ‘being cute’ thing, bambi suggested I should write about “overcomplicating things like ‘I like touching’ and communications”. It was a good suggestion.
I am learning how bambi communicates, and vice versa of course.
I have joked that we each need translators. I’m only half kidding.
I tend to speak carelessly and broadly. I often just want the concept, the *feeling* of a thing.
Bambi tends to … Continue Reading
Ferns: I want to write a blog post today. What shall I write about?
bambi: ME
bambi: ME ME ME ME ME
Ferns: *laugh*
bambi: *raises hand , waves it*
bambi: PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME
Ferns: What shall I write about you?
bambi: mmmm
bambi: how I’m pretty!
bambi: write about my eyes!
bambi: or write about overcomplicating things like ‘I like touching’
bambi: and communications
Ferns: *nod* “He is a terrible communicator, … Continue Reading
I just got my arse kicked. Seriously.
I’ve been working out for about 10 months now.
10 months ago: I started with 3 days of weights (pyramid sets) that had 48 reps with 3 failure points for each muscle group, plus 3 days of cardio a week. I was also doing two days of pilates per week. Pushing hard. For months. Religiously.
6 months ago: I cut out … Continue Reading
Sometimes it’s hard to be honest without feeling manipulative.
Sometimes I know what the outcome of honesty is going to be, so it feels like I am manoeuvring that outcome by *being* honest. That can be a hard mindset to let go of.
I suspect that more submissives have experienced this dilemma than dominants.
Submissive [honest statement]: “I really like it when you just tell me what to do without asking me.”
*cue your … Continue Reading
I’ve delayed doing an update because I took some progress pictures a couple of weeks ago and I looked *smaller* than I did in December, and I was all despondent about it in an ‘ahh fuck it, what’s the point?!’ kind of way (see my body project to compare the Dec-Feb photos in the sidebar).
I was especially down about it since I had been trying to kick it up: I changed my program from … Continue Reading