Sometimes I feel like my entire life is a performance for some unknown audience outside of myself.
I had a good cry this morning. Like you do when shit happens.
I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and wondered who it was for.
If I write about it here, was it for you, dear readers?
Some angsty vulnerable moment that I subconsciously know I will share later? Some act that I am performing for … Continue Reading
I haven’t written about this: I might still, at some stage. But sometimes the whys and wherefores of difficult things are better left to sit quietly unspoken until there is no power left in them.
Suffice it to say that I took a hit and feel like I am now gathering up my various resources, hoarding them until they are back at full strength.
I took a tentative step out and reactivated my vanilla … Continue Reading
I’ve been getting cute little congratulations about this very misleading post.
It’s super sweet and I do appreciate that people are happy about my apparent coupledom.
BUT…
In case you missed it, Drew is gay. Like Double Gold Star gay, as gay as the day is long (and I mean days-at-the-North-Pole-in-the-middle-of-summer kind of long). Still, I’m putting together a registry for cute couples gifts. Because yes :P.
All that to say: Come at … Continue Reading
We don’t get to see each other often, and we never have enough time together.
But he reminds me of all the good things in the world. And every moment we spend together is a gift.
Champagne and hugs and intimate chat.
More of all of those please.
—
Edited to add: More about my (gay!) American boyfriend here and here…… Continue Reading
We are all scared, I said.
I know but I’m really scared.
Of what?
Everything. I’m scared of everything.
Well cut that shit out. A short laugh. Not unkind.
I can’t.
You can. Pick them out one at a time, those fears. A small one first. Take out your sword and your shield and brandish them like a warrior in full flight. Run at it hard. Like your life depends on it. When you get … Continue Reading
Here’s a preview of what I’ve* been doing in the silence: A dedicated web page for the books I’m not writing :P. It’s so pretty!
*and by ‘I’, I mean ‘me and My Fabulous Man Who Knows Everything’ (MFMWKE just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?) who found a solution for every problem for me, even (especially) the ones I created myself with my exuberance and lack of skill.
Launching soon with champagne and … Continue Reading
I’m tired of expecting people to do the right thing.
Even more, I’m tired of feeling like I can’t expect them to do the right thing.
It’s utterly exhausting and depressing to expect the worst of people.
I don’t want to. Truly I don’t. And I try really hard to keep it at bay, to hang onto that smiling wide-eyed optimism that I used to have in droves.
I think it makes me an uglier … Continue Reading
