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Shoe shopping
We wander into the sex shop in the gay part of town. It is a rather conventional shop, by most standards, but oh, they have shoes. Stripper shoes a mile high, with clear heels and diamantes, platforms in white, red and black, ribbons and shiny leather.
I search through sizes while he idly browses beside me. I point some out to him, “Look, look at these, these are fabulous!!” He smiles and nods approval, “Yes … Continue Reading
I’m back…
And… I’m back! Missed me dincha? It’s okay, you can admit it, I won’t tell!
I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been so sweet to me, both here in comments and in private emails. Your empathy and support has been really wonderful. Never underestimate the kindness of strangers.
I’m going okay here, I miss my boy* madly, but I am okay. We have exchanged a couple of sweet tentative … Continue Reading
You, just like heaven
This one’s for you baby, I miss you.
“Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream” he said…
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe his name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone
Alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only boy I loved
And drowned him deep inside of me
What is this ‘Break Up Project’ and why are … Continue Reading
Flavour of vanilla
Once upon a time, I went out with vanilla boys, before I found any BDSM community, and after also. I was thinking recently about vanilla and submissive dates… they are quite different in my experience. Submissive men tend to wait, they are a little afraid of taking initiative in case they get it wrong, so they wait to be led, which is fine with me, but there are many many ways to show interest that … Continue Reading
‘Force’ as a kink *
Nobody ever talks about ‘force’ as a kink.
We frequently hear about ‘forced’ activities, but the focus is always on the activity rather than the force.
Now, I know the term ‘force’ raises some hackles, so how about we say force = coercion? Hmm… that sounds just as bad doesn’t it?
It’s a tricky thing to talk about because people are all ‘well you’re just ‘making’ them do something they wanted to do anyway, they … Continue Reading
The path
I wrote this on a discussion board recently:
Wilful disobedience is a signal that something is wrong, and if you don’t understand and fix the underlying problem, it’s a fast path to nowhere.
My boy has been wilfully disobedient recently. It *is* a signal that something is wrong, I *do* understand what the problem is, but I can’t fix it. *We* can’t fix it, even though we both want to. We are on a path … Continue Reading
Somehow
Somehow when my boy is sweet to me, looks after me, cares for me, does something incredibly moving… when he wraps me up like that, it highlights our dynamic, and the contrast is part of what splits me wide open, breaks me into little pieces and shines a spotlight on the differential.
When I am predator and he is prey, he becomes small, soft, like a lion suddenly in a kitten’s tiny fuzzy body, he … Continue Reading