I sometimes shy away from publishing posts that are quite personal. I read and re-read them and tweak and re-tweak them, but in truth what I am doing is stalling while I psyche myself into it. Strange that it should still feel difficult sometimes, even after so long.
So thank you to those who submit questions on my Ask page. You give me an excuse to gently sidestep.
___
Hello again, Ferns! And thanks … Continue Reading
My First: Are you sure the wine and yourself haven’t made each other’s acquaintance tonight?
Me: Shush!
First: Yes Ma’am
Me: …
…
…
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*laugh*
First: That’s the first thing you’ve instructed me to do since we moved apart
Me: I was thinking VERY IMPORTANT THINGS! Stop short circuiting me!
First: Sorry Ma’am
Me: Bzzzttttt
…
Seriously, I can’t put a coherent thought together now. Holy fuck.
___
Apparently some things retain their power.… Continue Reading
I was whispering in his ear, so close, touching every part of him.
The image was crystal clear in my head, I spilled it into him.
A white room, clean, featureless, stark.
He is the only thing that spoils its perfect sterility.
He is tied down in the middle over a white block. The block is also white, waist-height, sharp edges.
He is face down, his body laid out, helpless. He is in pain, sharp … Continue Reading
My First and I met in a BDSM chat room, on IRC. I can’t remember the details. What I remember is that we were attracted to each other, got chatting, emailing, talking, we exchanged photos. There was definitely something there.
He was some 6 years younger at 25, lived about 900kms away, had just finished his masters. He was restless, was looking to move, he was unhappy where he was, I can’t remember why exactly. … Continue Reading
I found a copy of my old hand-coded blog from the time my First and I were in our relationship. I wonder if there was a private journal also, but I haven’t taken the time to really look for it. My blog at the time was also BDSM-focussed (oh, what a surprise!), documenting my early explorations and relationships, but the content is frustratingly sporadic and incomplete. My play posts about my First were based on … Continue Reading
I like it when he shows off for me.
In the beginning, when he doesn’t know me so well, it happens inadvertently. And I love that. It’s a huge compatibility marker for me. When he unconsciously says something in a particular way, moves just like ‘that’, gives me a look, does something that hits me like a freight train and I’m left reeling. He might, at that stage, know me well enough to see the … Continue Reading
They look impossibly soft, your lips. Cushiony silken velvet. They beckon me when your mouth forms words. I know you are speaking to me, I’m listening, truly I am. And my eyes will flick up to yours when I answer, when I move the conversation forward, then they will drop to your lips again as you speak to me some more.
I’m hypnotised by the movement of your mouth, the glimpses of your teeth, the … Continue Reading