There is something about the boys I like, something intangible, something they can’t help in themselves, something unconscious, inviting and irresistible.
I have tried, over the years, to define what it is, to explain it, and have used words like vulnerability, and bravery, and prey, and of those, prey is the closest to describing it, that indefinable ‘it’.
They can’t pretend to have it, there is no kowtowing or genuflecting or ‘acting it out’ that works, there is no way to contrive it or guide someone into it. They either have it, or they don’t and those boys, those boys that I like, they just have it.
And unlike some stereotypical fantasy, it is not evident in the way they behave towards me, it is not superficial, it is not on show. They can be bold, or shy, or cool, or nervous, or confident… it makes not a whit of difference, I can smell it, underneath, it seeps from their pores and wafts around them, I can taste it on my tongue, that dizzying potential, that pull that comes from deep in my stomach, that makes me feel sick and excited. They may not even know that they have it, that they are projecting it in flashing neon over their heads, but they see it reflected in me, and it triggers them, like a silent call, subsonic, it strikes straight and true.
The ones I love most are the newbies, those who don’t know how to recognise it yet, those who don’t know that they have it, those who think I react this way to all boys, they think it’s normal, they think this is how it is for me with ‘submissives’. It’s not, you know, I tell them. It’s not normal for me, it’s not normal or common or typical, it’s incredibly rare and impossible and beautiful. I can tell that they don’t quite believe it, they can’t believe, somehow, that they are special and that, that right there, is part of it, that humble wonder, that eye widening disbelief, all that, all of it makes up part of the unconscious invitation, the one where they silently, blatantly, secretly ask me to take them by the hand, ask me to look them up and down and wait for me to say, ‘hello boy’.
11 comments
This is wonderful.
Vague: Thank you, dear V, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Ferns
Dear Ferns,
it's the first time I read You. I can't help feeling deeply Your magnetic field… Your writing style, Your fine remarks… You seem to have the mental power of a real leader, and I would like to be Your follower. Strange feeling. I live far away from You, but mentally I feel so near…
Anonymous: “it's the first time I read You.”
Oh, you have so much catching up to do! Welcome.
“I can't help feeling deeply Your magnetic field… Your writing style, Your fine remarks… You seem to have the mental power of a real leader, and I would like to be Your follower.”
Thank you, dear anonymous, for the sweetness, but rest assured that I am as ordinary and flawed and ridiculous as the next person.
Ferns
Thank You for the warm welcoming, dear Ferns.
Your are nicely modest. i don't live in a romantic utopia, but, honestly, i m sure You are an extraordinary artist of expression (by word and action), of attraction and of remaining a superb female mystery beyond all “flaws”…
Reading Your texts i feel admiration, submission and wild horniness at the same time!…
Like a male wild animal feeling provoked by this daring amazone-female, but deeply knowing that, at the end of the day, i m going to find my master – in You…
PS. Grrrr….
:-)
Besides: Your pic “Birthday suit” is really amazing… Please accept my admiration. i can't help imagining me worshiping You, in fear (and anger :-)) at the same time…
PS.2 I have sent You an email, i hope You don't mind.
Anonymous: “Reading Your texts i feel admiration, submission and wild horniness at the same time!”
*smile* That's a great combination to elicit with my writing, thank you.
“Your pic “Birthday suit” is really amazing…”
Thank you for that also, you may send me birthday presents to show your appreciation.
“I have sent You an email, i hope You don't mind.”
No, I don't mind. I am often slow to get to emails though, I have to be in the mood.
Ferns
This is probably my favorite entry of yours. Thank you for trying to put into words what I never could.
Cykotica: “This is probably my favorite entry of yours. Thank you for trying to put into words what I never could.”
I'm so glad you could relate, and I do love getting comments on old entries… thank you for it!
Ferns
I know this. I’ve seen it, I’ve felt it. But in so few is it found…so few. And though you and I have tasted the exquisite elixir on our tongues, and crave nothing more but more. I wonder if you would agree with me that it is an impossible demand upon those who have not have it, to replicate its embodiment.
It is the fraudulent commissioner’s worst nightmare.
One could spent a lifetime seeking it’s magnetism walking in all spheres of life. It is not learned from recursive environments. It is a frequency which which my soul had yet to re-discover the existence of in this lifetime, but has been ever yearning after. Looking back, it was a life blissfully ignorant, indeed. But no amount of bliss compares to the ground shattering, free fall into the liquid submersion abyss of cosmic magic.
From that steadfast glow in their eyes, it radiates outward, covering cloaking their skin with it. They are absorbed in this energy; innate. And I, surrounded by it am blessed. That soul I cherish, whos unknown gift they offer to me.
The stars of alignment winked when they twinkled, those nights we shared together.