I answered a three part question on Fetlife about the sexual power of male submissives.
Does he have any sexual power? Should he?
Oh fuck yes!
Is what he has granted to him by his dominant?
[WTF?!] No, he has it because that’s part of who he is, and he brings it to me, all the smouldering, passionate, scorching-hot, barely-contained sexual power. He has it whether I ever met him or not.
Some of the incredibly and impossibly sweet ones seem to be completely unaware that they have it. I adore that also, that wide eyed naivety. I love seeing them learn and grow into an understanding of their own sexual power.
His sexual power is largely in making me both weak and crazy-aggressive with want.
How can he exercise it (if he has it)?
For me, seduction is huge, for him to play with ways of morphing that sexual power into something that I MUST HAVE right now.
I want to see his desire and passion, I want him to learn what makes me look at him ‘that way’, what twitch of his hips turns me on, which subtle signals make my mouth ache, what expression on his face makes me want to tear the skin off his bones. My submissive has to learn how to make himself prey to my predator.
It may sound like subjugating his sexual power, but to me it’s a way of exercising it.
6 comments
As you often do, you direct my attention to the deeper truth in the games we play. Each of us has that sexual power, that fire, within. We are trained, sometimes brutally, often subtly but always incessantly, to hide it, control it, subdue it, teach it to dance a dainty box step.
My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to surrender control over that training to one whose mission is to strip it away, one mask at a time and bring the power into the light. I am awed at the raw courage required to take on that trust from another person.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, and I do agree with you about the suppression of sexual power, and “teach it to dance a dainty box step” was a wonderful description.
I think women have been taught this from childhood (which is not the topic here), but obviously, from the question that was asked, and from the attitudes I see in random places, there is some assumption that submissive men somehow have no sexual power, or *should* have no sexual power, when the opposite is true.
Frankly, it gives me the irrits.
Ferns
Oh God Yes!!!!!!
Exactly Ferns!!!!!
Ha! Thanks, Vista!
Ferns
Can we somehow get this post to the top of google for people first investigating male submission?
I never get tired of reading about women who find submission to be sexy, far too often the idea that a woman might want to be dominant is treated as radical, and what she is getting out of the exchange is written of with puzzlement.
“Can we somehow get this post to the top of google for people first investigating male submission?”
I just checked, it’s not there yet. I’m still pushing the doohickeys up the thingummyjig though, I haven’t given up!
“… far too often the idea that a woman might want to be dominant is treated as radical, and what she is getting out of the exchange is written of with puzzlement.”
I know right?! Or ‘she gets her dishes done!’ is offered as some sort of explanation. Pathetic.
Ferns