Ten days ago, my sweet friend Peroxide placed a personal ad in location-specific groups for a female dominant. He is looking purely for casual play.
Charming young sub, seeking casual play partner
Hi, I’m Peroxide, I write Submissive in Seattle and I’m looking for a nice lady to be my casual play partner.
I don’t do sex or D/s outside of a LTR, so this would just be a Top/bottom thing.
I’m not terribly experienced, but I am masochistic and eager to have a good time, so if you are a Domme/top/sadist and want a nice male body to tie up, take down, or hit with things, I might just be your man.
If you want to know more about me my blog has more information than you could possibly find interesting, or I’m happy to answer questions.
I live in Seattle (Obviously) and would be pleased to meet for coffee or drinks if you are interested. I’m pretty laid back, generally fun to hang out with, I don’t care how experienced or confident you are as long as you’re respectful and play safe, go ahead and drop me a line.
He is meeting with his first potential play partner on Friday.
Time from placing the ad to first meet? Less than two weeks.
My point?
It’s not always doom and gloom.
He was honest and up-front about what he wanted, he did not bullshit about offering submission in order to get play, and (most importantly) Peroxide is a genuinely lovely man. I have no doubt that when he was contacted by interested women, he was charming and appealing because, well, he is.
Obviously they may meet and not be play-compatible, and equally obviously finding a *relationship* is trickier, but still, I thought it was worth pointing it out and going, ‘Look, look!’
So, look, LOOK!!
—
Good luck on Friday, Peroxide. I hope it goes well for both of you.
18 comments
To be fair to others having more difficulty, I am exceedingly handsome and extraordinarily charming.
This is true. Also modest.
And with gold hot pants.
I mean, no wonder the ladies are lining up for a piece of you…!
Ferns
I’m trying to be more happy for Peroxide than pessimistic about my own prospects. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for him, but I’m also very pessimistic. Seattle is huge, 3.5 million people in the metro area; more than 13,000 people have FetLife profiles, not including Tacoma and all the various suburbs. That’s a lot of opportunities to find what he’s looking for (which is substantially similar to what I’m looking for, actually).
Even then, he is having to compromise. He really wants a romantic D/s relationship, but he’s settling for casual play because of the difficulty of finding what he really wants. This is something I’m trying to come to terms with, myself. He is doing it the right way, though, being honest with himself and potential play partners.
OK, to leave on an optimistic note: It only takes one person, if you find the right one and are willing to see it.
“Even then, he is having to compromise. He really wants a romantic D/s relationship, but he’s settling for casual play because of the difficulty of finding what he really wants.”
This is a good point, finding a relationship is hard, moreso if you narrow your focus to people interested in BDSM.
I think the corollary is that there are a lot of people claiming that they want a BDSM based relationship right off the bat, when they might be better served trying out something more casual first.
The other point of this is that some men really just want to explore a little, to see if BDSM is for them, to get some experience, but they are afraid that being honest about that will mean no-one will be interested (and to be fair, *most* advice out in the world (including mine) is based on the goal of having a romantic relationship).
Many men will lie about wanting to submit (or convince themselves that that’s what they really want) because they think it gives them a better chance of getting play. That never turns out well.
Ferns
Yay, Peroxide! You lucky git. :D
Plus! Look! Attention on Ferns’s blog!
Attention is all I’m really after.
Attention whore!!! Here, have some more… *hands over all the attention*
Ferns
Well then take more half naked pictures, duh!
“I am masochistic and eager to have a good time, so if you are a Domme/top/sadist and want a nice male body to tie up, take down, or hit with things, I might just be your man.”
Ok that’s just hot! I would have responded to such an ad.
The honest approach is the best approach. And in my opinion, it’s not so much a compromise. Who knows what a play partner could develop into? I’d rather get to know someone without the pressure of ‘the one’ looming. Why not have some fun in the mean time. Bravo Peroxide. i wish you well!
*off to read another blog it seems*
I would have responded to such an ad.
You know you still can. *winks suggestively*
*off to read another blog it seems*
Oh goody, I love new readers!
Do you travel? I’m nowhere near Seattle. *pouts*
Much impressed… you’re now on my morning read with coffee list. I KNOW that just made your day. haha
Alas I am but a poor barista and have no time or money for travel.
And I am pleased to hear you’ll be reading.
Yes Good Luck Peroxide!
Remember to share sordid details.
Satan
Every salacious tidbit.
It’s always nice to hear success stories, even if it’s just a little success.
Good luck Peroxide!
@Peroxide
Well, Mr Peroxide, I *do* think that yours is a refreshing approach. I think it’s quite inspiring, actually.
Firstly, I think it’s true to say that femdoms are continually complaining about malesubs who are dishonest about the ‘depth’ of their submission – or, to be more charitable to them, who are not yet aware of that just how deep or shallow are their submissive tendencies.
But there’s more. I’ve also read that many femdoms don’t like to think that a man’s submission is ‘on offer’ to every woman. Perhaps a femdom might enjoy the journey of discovery with you?
And I’ve also noticed that many vanilla women would like to dabble with whatever dominance they have in them.
Interesting! I do hope things work out!
@Stabbity: I agree!
I’m thinking of posting every time I successfully put on my shoes, or manage not to lock myself out of the house.
Oh wait. I pretty much do that on twitter already…
Ferns