I did a week of posts, as planned (yay!) to try and kick-start my brain, so I thought I’d do a quick review of where my head is at.
It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.
Writing about ‘whatever random thing was on my mind’ took the pressure off me to write about ‘something’, which was making me over-think and spin in my own head when my brain really wasn’t in the space for processing that. The daily writing didn’t feel like a chore (phew), and I gave myself a pass to just post ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ was, which was rather freeing.
I like some of the random posts that came out of it, and some of them got quite a bit of thoughtful feedback from you lovely folks, which I really enjoy (thank you!). I might do a bit more of that kind of ‘whatever is on my mind’ posting without filtering so much.
I’ve also been doing some ‘brain training’ games online to try and stimulate whatever is stalled in my head, and I’ve started taking brahmi again to see if that helps coalesce my thoughts.
Oddly for me, I’m not sleeping well, and my orgasms are being weird with me. Re the former, I used to have a lot of trouble sleeping when I was stressed because I couldn’t turn my brain off when I went to bed, and I seem to be there again (not with the stress, just with the tic-tic that might be my brain trying to do what I am asking of it). By the latter, I mean that I am able to come, but it feels like an anti-climax. It’s more like my body goes into spasm and is done rather than all those wonderful waves of pleasure and goodness. I’m wondering if both of those are due to the brahmi because nothing else has physically changed.
I guess I should add here that from the above, I am aware that I might be making this seem like a Really. Big. Problem *smile*. It’s really not, so don’t worry.
Rest assured that I am not walking around in the world like some kind of mindless zombie no longer able to function normally or string a sentence together. I just know that my synapses have not been firing like they normally do. Instead of going ‘snap-snap-snap’, they have felt like they were sluggishly going ‘eh? wha?!’.
And of course, if I see a problem, I want to fix it.
I think I’m getting there.
11 comments
I think it’s a good strategy, to write off the top of your head about random stuff in order to relieve the pressure. I enjoyed the week of posts, and congrats on getting it done.
I had to google the Brahmi, having never heard of it before, and I’d be interested to know if it helps you at all.
One thing is for certain, over the years that I’ve been reading your blog, I’ve seen quite a lot of brilliance here, and I’m absolutely certain that there’s a LOT more to come.
As always, I look forward to reading it.
*smile* Thanks slapshot. I appreciate the support.
Also I helpfully provided a link to ‘brahmi‘ in the post so you wouldn’t have to google. Oh look, there it is again! Honestly, I don’t know why I bother! Hmmpphh!!
Ferns
Yeah, my sleep is usually off when I can’t turn my brain off. This is likely due to stress and it’ll even cascade over into my dreams where I’ll dream about what I’m worried/stressed about, and that only makes it worse. Coincidentally enough, it’s peaked all this past week. However, I do find that my orgasms are better (bigger, more prolonged) when I’m stressed.
I find going to the gym really helps with the sleep issue and turning my thoughts off, but you seem to do that enough already…
Stress manifests in different ways, but I can totally relate to stress fucking up sleep patterns. I have zero stress right now, though, so I know it’s not that!
Interesting about your orgasms when you are stressed. Nice to have an up-side!
I figure it should settle if it IS the brahmi kicking at my synapses (and it’s the logical choice since nothing else has really changed). I didn’t sleep too badly last night, so maybe it’s getting there already.
Ferns
Well I’m glad it had the intended effect. I struggle with writing no matter if I have something I would like to say or not. It can really suck when you feel like you have *something* rattling around in there and it isn’t quite clear enough to go down on the page. From a reader’s standpoint, it was really great to know I would have something here to read every day. Because clearly it’s aaaaallllllll about us, your ravenous readers! Lol.
“It can really suck when you feel like you have *something* rattling around in there and it isn’t quite clear enough to go down on the page.”
Yes! Or a million ‘somethings’! So frustrating.
From a reader’s standpoint, it was really great to know I would have something here to read every day. Because clearly it’s aaaaallllllll about us, your ravenous readers! Lol.
*laugh* I loved that, thank you!!! And of course it’s all about you! Duh!
Ferns
Sadly, my life is not nearly interesting to have a million somethings to write about! Hmmmm… I really need to get out more.
Well, the most interesting parts of my life happen in my head.
If I was writing about ‘what I did’, it would pretty much look like this:
‘Got up, had coffee, breakfast, fucked about, mod duties, internetted, went to the gym, had lunch, emails, wrote/read, ate something else, shower, went to bed…’
Next day… much the same…
Then once in a blue moon: A THING HAPPENS!! Then I milk the thing as blog fodder for ages…
*laugh*
Ferns
‘Got up, had coffee, breakfast, fucked about, mod duties, internetted, went to the gym, had lunch, emails, wrote/read, ate something else, shower, went to bed…’
What about the fapping?
This is a very valid and important question, and depends very much on ‘when the day starts’.
If it starts when I get out of bed, then the fapping is excluded as it occurs either after I have just gone to bed or just before I get up in the morning. Or both.
More rarely, there might be some of that during the day, but that’s not habitual.
Nice work identifying that gap in my information-sharing *smile*.
Ferns