I did a photo shoot last week and the set included a bunch of muscle-shots, which are a *vast* improvement on my usual rubbish-light-and-angle selfies.
Though when I say ‘muscle-shots’, I am being somewhat generous and might better describe them as ‘trying-to-show-off-muscle shots’.
Even though I’m not big, I DO see some fabulous muscle definition when I’m avatar-sized (see right with the distinct bicep, deltoid, lat, whatever-they-are muscles being visible there), and then I get disappointingly less and less fabulous as you make the photo bigger (see below).
WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS?
Obviously I need to be a teeny-tiny pocket version of myself. Problem solved.
I feel a bit like I’m in maintenance mode now, which is not really what I want yet (because I haven’t achieved what I set out to achieve), but I’m okay with it for the moment while I figure out ‘what next’.
My twice-a-week pilates sessions are currently only once a week because the physio studio reduced the available classes. On the up-side, I have only two others in my sessions, which means a lot more personalised attention.
I’m heading to the gym pretty solidly three times a week, weights-only, with a bike warm up and sometimes burpees. I am currently doing a few weeks of drop sets to try and give my body a shock. I’m not doing any cardio at all.
My photographer (my vanilla ex) took my last two birthday nudes and we were talking about the differences in my body then (no gym, no exercise at all really) and now (after 14 months of solid gym work).
He definitely sees a difference in my shape and the ‘quality’ of my body and is genuinely impressed by it. He sees broader shoulders specifically, and a slimmer overall look. He also sees new *strength* in my body (that is, musculature is visible to him), in particular, in my upper body, shoulders and back. This makes me happy.
Of course, I don’t see it because it’s gradual for me, and I am too close to it.
I gripe and whine about the lack of progress in pretty much every body project post. This is NOT because I don’t see any improvements overall. It’s because I am frustrated over *still* not being where I want to be: Essentially, visible lean muscle shape when I am relaxed. Not crazy-big, but I’d love to see some arm shape, a hint of abs, a little quad-flex when I walk… I have none of those… yet.
Not giving up.
Also expect some more photos from the photo shoot. I have about a gazillion of them!
16 comments
Thanks for the update!
Trust me, the Body Project progress is distinct, from the point of view of those of us who don’t see your body every day (more’s the pity).
And a moderate period of “maintenance mode” is not a bad thing, especially after you had a few weeks of slippage not all that long ago. And maintenance mode is far better than hitting the mental brick wall of “can’t do it all, therefore shouldn’t bother with anything.”
I don’t see a mention of TFB. Are you still working with him?
Thanks for the encouragement Naga *smile*.
I employed TFB for 5 weeks. I think it was good for me to do something new and to be really pushed hard, but it was also expensive, so I didn’t go for another round. I do have a bunch of his workout routines which I am incorporating into my options so at this stage I’m not planning to see him again (but you never know!).
Ferns
I love the fact you think not only about what your body looks like but also what you want it to do for you and what it can achieve. It looks good too but it is the strength that comes with it that seems to be the payoff. Humbly, tiger_sub
Thanks katherine, but to be honest, you give me too much credit.
For me, it’s all vanity. A great side effect is that being strong makes me feel sexy and raawwwwrrr, but my motivation is to get my body looking the way I want both because ‘looks awesome!’ and because I enjoy(?!) the challenge of it.
Ferns
oh my my how working out and protein does your body good! ;) Naga is correct for those of us who don’t see your body everyday we notice the difference and there is definitely size difference there.
Respectfully,
Thanks *smile*.
I do think I need a better photographer than ‘me in the bathroom with a cellphone’ to compare like for like…
Ferns
Looks good Ferns!
Others will see differences, today I got a compliment from my cousin. Lost a whole lot of weight according to him (the scale says otherwise). Stay strong!
Thanks! Ooh, compliments are lovely! Both sweet and motivational.
Scales lie! Cousins tell the truth. As do tight jeans…
So congrats on the weight loss!
Ferns
Our bodies are such amazing machines. Even when they don’t look exactly how we might like (in your case, visible muscle definition when resting… in mine, paler skin! lol) they are pretty darn awesome. I may not be as muscular or defined as you are, but I’m extremely grateful for what I have. My body gets me from point A to point B every day. That’s something! :D
I think that your progress is pretty visible to everyone but you. Things look very different to those people who don’t see your body on a daily basis! There is a marked visible difference in my personal opinion. (I went back and looked at the original pics)
They ARE pretty damn awesome, and I’ve been lucky with mine – it’s strong, it resists injury, it’s not let me down in a big way yet (a couple of ‘hey, bitch, are you paying attention?!’ scares notwithstanding).
Thanks for doing a before/after analysis and giving me some positive feedback *smile*!
Ferns
What a lucky fellow, that even as your ex he gets to see you nekkid!
Because seriously, Ferns, you are looking amazing (Drool inducing amazing!)
*laugh* I know right!?! And he doesn’t even have to put up with me day in and day out to get the nakedity!!
Thank you so much for the lovely compliment *wipes the drool with a napkin*.
Ferns
Like everyone else has said… You look amazing! The progress is far more notable then you think.
That said… building muscle definition for women is a very painstakingly slow process. But you have the shoulder bump now… and that alone is a huge testament to what you’ve done.
Thank you!!
Muscle building *is* excruciatingly difficult! Who knew?! (Okay, well, everyone who’s ever looked into it AT ALL, but I mean *other than that*?!!).
Thank you for noticing the shoulder bump *laugh*. Yay! Now I just want it to show a bit when I’m relaxed, that’s all.
Ferns
Wanna trade your womanly ability to multitask for my manly ability to quickly gain muscle ?
You’re looking pretty good.
Here’s the deal: I will give you the ability to do TWO things at once (which takes me down to six) in exchange for some ab definition…
“Pretty good”?! COME ON!!!
Ferns