Happy femdom story – greg

A few months ago I got a really lovely email from a reader and he mentioned that he had been inspired by the happy femdom stories that people have shared here.

He said that he wasn’t sure if his story would fit because he and his wife started their life together as a vanilla couple and their D/s relationship evolved from there. Well of COURSE it fits (we have had two others with similar stories)!

It’s a wonderful story that is still unfolding. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Author: greg

Following our path

When I reached puberty, the fantasies I mostly had involved being seduced or captured by women who then did various things to me, controlling me in some fashion. I didn’t know anything about kinks, BDSM, or D/s at that point, barely knew what sex was about. And there were no resources available to me at that time; no internet, no personal computers, nothing except magazines and books, none which did more than lightly suggest anything on this topic.

As I got older, occasionally I would come across a magazine that included kinky things, and I was always deeply drawn to the topic of women in control. But it was just wank fodder, as far as I could tell, I never even thought about sharing that with anyone.

So my dating and developing relationships did not involve that aspect at all. It was not part of searching for a partner, merely something that was fun to fantasize about when masturbating. And I gradually tried some self bondage and other things as my fantasies inspired me.

Eventually, I found someone that seemed a wonderful fit for me and we got married. And as with all couples, we had lots to get used to about each other.

As we explored sex to see what we both liked, my strong desire to feel submissive came out at times. Occasionally I would spice things up and suggest trying something like tying me up to see how that worked for us both. And we would discuss how these spicy additions, or supplements, worked for us. For the most part, while she was willing to try them, she was not turned on by them, and would have been fine dropping them if left to her own devices. But as we explored she found that my reactions to what she did was turning her on. And she found that she enjoyed eliciting these reactions from me. I, on the other hand found them compelling and wanted to experience more. So I kept suggesting new things to try, sometimes obtaining new things to use such as dog collars to use as wrist and ankle cuffs.

As we slowly explored and gained more experience, the internet and other resources started to come on-line. This allowed me to better understand my desires and realize that I was not alone. And find new things to try, of course. One day, while searching the internet, I came upon chastity devices for men, the CB2000 specifically. This really captivated my mind and I could not stop reading for an hour or so. I was compelled to obtain one and began wearing it, trying to engage my wife in this, to me, very hot idea.

True to form, she did not find it compelling, but worked with me sometimes and enjoyed my reaction to some extent. After 6 months of so of trying this out, I came to an epiphany while she was out of town. I realized that a device was not needed (yes, I can be slow at times) and that what really turned me on was giving her control over my pleasure.

Have you ever had your mind racing so much you could not sleep as you kept turning a critical decision over and over in your mind? That was me until she returned from the trip.

As soon as she returned, I hesitatingly brought this new idea up and promised her that I would never play with myself again, unless she gave me explicit instructions to do so. She paused, pondering what I had just promised, and then said that was a long time to commit to. I quickly agreed, with some relief actually, and suggested maybe a trial run for 6 months would be smarter.

Immediately she responded, saying, “Too late, you already promised,” with a smile on her face. My heart melted at those words and it was like giving her my marriage vows all over again.

For me that was the moment that I realized I wanted to submit and have a D/s dynamic in our relationship. True, at this point it was all focused on sex. But this crystallized for me that what I really wanted was to be submissive. And I realized that the tools were not what was important.

Ropes, whips, chastity devices, etc were just the tools. What I craved and needed was to submit and be under a woman’s control. Not just as something to spice up our sex life, not just an occasional scene to do, but instead for it to be a real and permanent part of our relationship.

As time went on, we explored what this new arrangement meant and how it worked. Not so easy while raising kids and having busy lives, but slowly we progressed. My wife really enjoyed her ability to control my sexual responses, and I found that this feeling of being controlled or submitting was really important to me.

As I read more and discussed more about this with my wife and others on line, I gradually came to understand that my need to submit and be controlled was a core element of my sexuality, not just wank fodder. I wanted to feel this aspect more intensely. So we experimented, as she felt intrigued with various ideas I would gently suggest that turned me on.

This past spring/summer, a number of things seemed to come together for me and pushed me to a new level of submission. Over the last few years, we had explored confining me by chaining me to the toilet or laundry room sink. This was very compelling to me, but there was no reason to do it other than to arouse me, so we rarely did it. Independent of this, I had been sorting out how to better manage our occasional disagreements, and realized that I had trouble being analytical (my go-to strategy in that situation) when she was letting her emotions play out, which she needed to do. I recognized that when we paused and I could be introspective, we could resolve things a lot better later, after re-engaging. Finally, I happened upon Ferns blog and most of the things Ferns said not only resonated strongly with me, but in fact crystallized my thoughts.

First, I realized a powerful tool that could be used in disagreements would be for her to give me a time out, as it allowed her emotions to play out and forced a separation that helped me, and changed the power dynamic. This was the first time I internally realized I wanted control in more areas of my life than sex. Of course, the thing that allows this to be carried out is partly the sexual turn on, but the desire for her to be able to control the disagreement process was strikingly strong in me.

I realized that I wanted her to be confident that I would do as she said, that she could have the feeling that she was could tell me to do anything and I would do it. And if not, then we had some work to do to sort out why I did not obey her, and how to fix that so I will do better in the future. Ferns ability to conceptualize what makes this dynamic work and how to keep it going were particularly important for me, with her posts on a vulnerability, making D/s work, and punishment resonating strongly.

We are just beginning this phase of our relationship. And, while we do not know where we will end up, I have always looked at life as a journey. Where my destination is not clear, but the journey is what is important, not the destination. I hope everyone can enjoy the journey as much as we have!

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This post is part of an ongoing project to share happy, positive femdom relationship stories.  If you have a story and are willing to share it, please email it to me (ferns AT domme-chronicles DOT com).