What are you interested in?

What interests you with your submissive?

I get this question quite a lot. It’s a reasonable one.

The first thing is that I don’t care about ‘what he will do for me’. Can he cook, can he wield a power drill, can he build things, can he give me a pedicure? Don’t care. It’s stupid. Those are useful skills of course, but in the scheme of things they aren’t partner-makers. And any smart person can learn skills.

I also don’t care about ‘what will I do to him’ stuff. The acts, the fetishes, the play. Absolutely we have to be compatible, but they aren’t partner-makers either. Being into [some fetish] isn’t going to make me like someone more.

What I’m interested in is connection, laughter, curiosity, fascination, all those things that make me go ‘yes, more of that please’. Then things that make me fall in love with someone. Intimacy, emotional bravery, vulnerability. I want that.

Those are the things that I’m interested in.

THEN..

Insidiously bound up in it, in his psyche, and laid naturally at my feet as if it belongs there, is his happiness about being pleasing to me, his complementary submission to my dominance. How he feels cared for and brought close by seeing me light up because he has been my good boy, by feeling my delight in him when he offers me those parts of himself.

And all of that is at the centre of some sparkling kaleidoscope of custom-made fireworks that we set off when his prey to my predator ignites those endless colours: Intensity, passion, hunger, and an incredible vulnerability that breaks my heart even as I plunge dirty greedy fingers into the depths of him to get more.

So yeah. That’s what I’m interested in.