My third Masocast interview, ‘Ferns is back’, is live (the first interview from 2012 is here and the second from 2014 is here)!!
I had so much fun and a lot of laughs in this long chat with the lovely [unspeakable]Axe. We covered a wide and rambling set of topics related to BDSM from vanilla dating to how I should just go to New York to find a submissive :).
Random snippets:
I just wanna say ‘fuck you!’
Oh shit no. Oh can you imagine? Nooooo
I like to think it’s because I’m fabulous, but it’s really not…
That’s like… 100 years in internet time
There’s no ‘make them so horny they’ll do it’, they’ll just do it. Because awesome!
‘Be my sex slave for the night’. I don’t know a single vanilla man who’ll go ‘nope, I’m not doin’ that’
That was a revelation to me, I’m just going “Hoooooly shit!”
Whatever your issues are, I don’t care
That is a very good question, kudos to you
I want him to feel that as an act of dominance
I’ll be going ‘get me more champagne, what are you doing?!’
Go here to hear the full interview:
Enjoy :).
If you want to hear more of my dulcet tones in my Australian non-accent, I have a podcast you can treat your ears with :).
7 comments
I look forward to your book about unspeakable Ax.
I remember you gave us a snippet of a story once in a post called ” He followed her home”. How is that story progressing?
Charlie
I did give a snippet, thank you for remembering Charlie :).
A version of it is in the book I mentioned in the podcast (well, I’m pretty sure… it’s languishing in the depths of my files, so I wouldn’t bet my life on it).
Ferns
Why YES!!! I *DID* enjoy… Very much.
I’m glad, and thank you for dropping by to tell me :).
Ferns
Hello Beautiful,
So sorry I am not on hardly anymore. I do still follow your posts and tweets that pop up in my email and I miss our conversations.
I would like to confirm UnspeakableAxe thoughts, at least from my point of view, concerning it is easier to get vanilla men to go along with being submissive/dominant then it is to get vanilla women to go along with being submissive/dominant. He spoke of just getting them to be submissive but I am going to speak on both. As a lesbian, who was with men previously, and who has been in vanilla relationships I can say in my experience it is much easier to get vanilla men to act submissive/dominant then it is a vanilla woman.
UnspeakableAxe mentioned he went on a ton of vanilla dates and was able to fulfill some but not all of his submissive needs without the other person realizing that was what he was doing. I have done the same thing. I found a long time ago when I was with vanilla men that men are much more willing to “play the part” then a vanilla woman is willing too. Almost every relationship I had with a vanilla man I was able to get him to go along with being Dominant but almost every vanilla female I have been resisted and questioned my actions at a point much quicker then the men would.
I don’t think it is because men are dumb or so horny they will go with anything. I can’t explain why it is easier but at least in my experience, it has always been. Perhaps it is because women tend to analyze things and involve emotions far more then men do while men often tend to go with the flow of things.
I know it’s not something you give any thought too so I won’t go rambling on any further. But of course, being a lesbian, it really jumped out at me when you both spoke on it.
Respectfully as always,
mysticlez
Hey there mysticlez :).
“it is easier to get vanilla men to go along with being submissive/dominant then it is to get vanilla women to go along with being submissive/dominant”
Thanks for sharing your experience.
I do think (per your experience) that it’s easier to get vanilla men to take the dominant role than vanilla women because frankly, the fundamentals of M/f are not so far removed from traditional het relationships, so it’s not a huge leap.
To me, wanting a vanilla woman to take the dominant role is the hardest thing because not only do you have to convince them to do it, you then want them to *take the lead* in doing it, and for most women (het women at least), that’s a ginormous leap against what they’ve internalised their role to be (heck, a lot of women who are actually dominant have issues with pushing back against society’s expectations of behaviour :/).
I’d have thought that women’s roles would be more flexible in the lesbian community because they’ve already stepped out of traditional roles, but I see you’ve struck the same thing as submissive het men :/.
Ferns